Riddle Me This! What If Gizmo Became a Gremlin?
Who’d win in a fight between Superman and Spawn? How the f*ck old is Cable? And what in the holy hell is a Megatron? When the tough questions arise, Panels on Pages will gather the facts, but it’s up to the PoP!ulation to draw its own conclusions. So come on… Riddle Me This!
Gizmo, pre-Gremlinization.
Okay, we all know the three invariably broken rules when it comes to Mogwai:
1) Never expose them to bright lights.
2) Never get them wet.
3) Never feed them after midnight.
For a successful Gremlins film, all three have to be thrown right out the window. But over the years there’s been another question that’s been nagging me:
4) Are all Mogwai except Gizmo inherently assholes?
While casual viewers might say that Mogwai are all adorable until they eat after midnight and become Gremlins, more observant watchers will note that Gizmo is the only Mogwai we see who’s not a little shit from the beginning. The other Mogwai that spawn from him are bitches right from the start, well before they turn into Gremlins. Is this a species trait? Are peaceful Mogwai like Gizmo an aberration? That leads me to my next question. If Gizmo himself turned into a Gremlin, would he retain his benevolent personality, or succumb to the general Gremlin anarchy? A Gremlin on the side of good battling his own brethren would be quite a sight to see. Furthermore, once he made the transformation from Mogwai to Gremlin, would it be possible for him to change back? As far as I can remember, there’s nothing said in the previous films that rules this out as an impossibility. Maybe if you feed a Gremlin after midnight it reverts back into it’s Mogwai form. There are questions that need to be answered, people!
What I’m saying is, Warner Brothers I’m available to write Gremlins 3. Heck, I’ll even subvert my principles and write Gremlins 3D so you can cash in on the current fad. Basically, whatever lets me meet and hang with Phoebe Cates and/or John Glover.
Filed Under: Columns • Riddle Me This
Ahh Phoebe Cates.. I’ll be in my bunk
I think a Gremlin’d Gizmo would definitely fight on the side of good, not evil. It would be super cool if he became like a Hulk Gremlin, squashing his less civil brethren into green goo.
I dig the idea of Gizmo as a Blade-style slayer of Gremlins.
^That works, especially after his Rambo turn in #2. Maybe he could spawn another docile Mogwai to make-up the cuteness loss?
This movie could simply be called “Gremlin,” too.