TL;DR Five Minute Harry Potter, part 3

Here we are again with TL;DR Five Minute Harry Potter, part 3. If you haven’t already, be sure to check out part 1 and part 2. Here’s the warning: this guide is nothing but spoilers. Ready? Let’s begin.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Draco Malfoy is a Death Eater now, and has to do some murdering. Harry inherits Sirius’ creepy old house, 12 Grimmauld Place. Dumbledore burned his hand up. Harry and Dumbledore go convince the retired Professor Slughorn to teach at the school.

Everybody goes shopping for school supplies! The gang visits Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, which is the joke shop that Fred and George opened with the money Harry gave them. Then, Harry, Ron, and Hermione follow Draco into Borgin and Burkes, and he’s dealing in some dangerous magical objects.

Harry sees Ginny Weasley and thinks, “Bow chica wow wow,” but she’s not into it. On the Hogwarts Express, Harry spies on Draco with his invisibility cloak, but Draco sees him and beats the crap out of him. Tonks saves Harry and takes him to Hogwarts.

Snape gets to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, which means that Harry and Ron get to take Potions class with Slughorn. Harry gets a used textbook that has notes in the margins. It belongs to “The Half-Blood Prince”. The notes help Harry become a great potion-maker, and he wins some “liquid luck” as a prize.

Dumbledore starts showing Harry memories regarding Voldemort in the pensieve, including his first meeting with the young Tom Riddle.

On a trip to Hogsmeade, one of the students is cursed and nearly killed. Harry thinks that Draco is behind it, but has no proof. Ron and Hermione are starting to have the hots for each other. Not long after that, Harry and Ron find Ginny kissing another guy in the hallway, and Harry is jealous. Ron and Hermione get into a fight, and Ron starts dating Lavender Brown, who wants nothing more than to make out with Ron all the time.

Harry and Dumbledore find out that Slughorn helped Voldemort at one point, and Dumbledore asks Harry to get the information from Slughorn. Ron accidentally eats a love potion that a girl made for Harry, and they go to Slughorn to get the antidote. Ron becomes poisoned, and Harry saves him. Ron and Hermione make up.

Harry uses his “liquid luck” to get the memory from Slughorn. Dumbledore and Harry look at it, and learn that Slughorn taught Voldemort about Horcruxes. Dumbledore thinks that Voldemort made six of them: the diary that Harry destroyed in the Chamber of Secrets, the ring that Dumbledore destroyed, the locket that cursed the girl in Hogsmeade, Hufflepuff’s cup, something of Rowena Ravenclaw’s, and Voldemort’s snake Nagini. Little do they know, there is a seventh Horcrux.

Draco attacks Harry and, in defense, he uses one of the Half-Blood Prince’s spells, and it almost kills Draco. Snape saves Draco, and gives Harry so much detention that he misses the last Quidditch match. The Gryffindoor team wins the Quidditch Cup anyway, and, in celebration, Harry kisses Ginny in front of everybody. Smooth.

Harry finds out that Snape knew of the prophecy that stated that Harry was the Chosen One, and Harry is very pissed that Snape led Voldemort to kill his parents. Dumbledore reassures Harry that Snape is the good guy, then asks Harry to help him find Slytherin’s locket, one of the Horcruxes. They go to a cave, where Dumbledore is tortured, but they manage to get the locket.

They get back to Hogwarts and see the Dark Mark over the Astronomy Tower. They fly up there, and Dumbledore stuns Harry and hids him under his invisibility cloak. Draco confronts Dumbledore and states that his mission is to kill him, but Draco can’t do it. Snape appears, and kills Dumbledore.

Harry attacks Snape, and uses one of the Half-Blood Prince’s spells on him. It turns out that Snape is the Half-Blood Prince. Snape and Draco escape. When Harry returns to Dumbledore’s body, he sees that the locket is a fake, and that the real one was stolen by an R.A.B.

Harry attends Dumbledore’s funeral, and breaks off his relationship with Ginny so that she doesn’t get hurt by Voldemort. Harry decides to not return to Hogwarts, and to set out and destroy the Horcruxes himself. Ron and Hermione agree to go with him.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

The Death Eaters are plotting to kill Harry. At the same time, Harry is getting ready to leave his uncle and aunt’s house for good. The entire family is abandoning the house in case the Death Eaters attack. The Order of the Phoenix arrives, and half of them take Polyjuice Potion to look like Harry. That way, if the Death Eaters find them, they won’t know who the real Harry is.

The Death Eaters attack. Hedwig, Harry’s owl, is killed, as is Mad-Eye Moody. Voldemort comes close to killing Harry, but Harry makes it to Tonk’s protected home just in time. Harry takes a Portkey to the Burrow. George lost an ear in the attack.

Rufus Scrimgeour, the Minister for Magic, gives Harry, Ron, and Hermione some objects that Dumbledore left them in his will. Ron gets the Deluminator, Hermione gets a book, The Tales of Beedle the Bard, and Harry gets Gryffindor’s sword and the first Golden Snitch that he caught.

Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour are married, but the wedding is interrupted by the news that Voldemort has taken over the Ministry of Magic. Harry, Ron, and Hermione leave for London, but are attacked by Death Eaters. They go to 12 Grimmauld Place, and find out that R.A.B. from the last book is Regulus Arcturus Black. As it turns out, Dolores Umbridge now has the locket that is the Horcrux.

They decide to infiltrate the Ministry of Magic. They use Polyjuice Potion to impersonate three Ministry workers. They find Umbridge and Harry stuns her, taking the locket, and they escape to the middle of nowhere.

They have no way of destroying the locket, except for using Gryffindor’s sword, and nobody knows where it is. Ron thinks that Hermione chose Harry over him, and he leaves. Harry and Hermione travel to Godric’s Hollow, where Harry’s parents are buried, and they are ambushed by Voldemort. Harry’s wand breaks.

Harry and Hermione escape and camp out in the forest. Harry sees a doe Patronus, and follows it to Gryffindor’s sword. Ron destroys the Horcrux, and reveals why everyone calls Voldemort “He Who Must Not Be Named”: Voldemort can trace people who say his name.

They go to see Luna Lovegood’s dad, who tells them about the Deathly Hallows: the Elder Wand, the Resurrection Stone, and the Invisibility Cloak. Death Eaters attack again and they once again escape. They continue to search for Horcruxes, but Harry accidentally says Voldemort’s name, and they are captured by Death Eaters and taken to Malfoy Manor. They are identified, and Bellatrix Lestrange tortures Hermione, as she thinks that they stole their sword from her Gringott’s vault.

Harry and Ron stage a battle, and escape with Hermione and Dobby the elf, but Bellatrix manages to hit Dobby with her knife as they disapperated, and he dies. Harry asks Olivander about wands, and Olivander tells Harry that Voldemort is looking for the Elder Wand to defeat Harry. Harry has a vision of Voldemort stealing the wand from Dumbledore’s tomb.

The trio and the goblin Griphook try to steal a Horcrux out of Bellatrix’s vault. Hermione transforms herself using Polyjuice Potion. They eventually make it to the vault and get the Horcrux, Hufflepuff’s cup. Griphook steals Gryffindor’s sword, and they escape via dragon.

Harry gets a vision that Ravenclaw’s Horcrux in inside of Hogwarts Castle. The trio heads to Hogsmeade and is attacked again by Death Eaters. They’re saved by Aberforth Dumbledore, Professor Dumbledore’s brother. They sneak into the castle and find that Neville, Ginny, and Luna brought Dumbledore’s Army back together. Harry and Luna go to look for Ravenclaw’s Diadem. Harry meets up with Professor McGonagall, who ends up in a duel with Snape, who was made the new headmaster of Hogwarts after Dumbledore’s death. Snape ends up fleeing the castle.

Voldemort builds his army, and the Order of the Phoenix arrives at Hogwarts to build theirs. The Battle of Hogwarts begins as Harry continues to search for the diadem. He finds it in the Room of Requirement, and he finds out that Ron and Hermione destroyed the cup with a basilisk fang. They’re caught by Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle. Crabbe unleashes Fiendfyre, which ends up destroying the Horcrux and killing himself. Ron and Hermione take a minute to make out.

Molly Weasley kills Bellatrix Lestrange, who was attacking Ginny, with the best line in the series, “Not my daughter, you bitch!”

Harry sees that Fred Weasley has been killed in the battle, as well as Remus Lupin and Tonks. Harry, Ron, and Hermione find Voldemort confronting Snape about the Elder Wand, and he kills Snape. Snape gives his memories to Harry. As it turns out, Snape had always loved Lily Potter, and was actually trying to help Harry out of the pain he felt over Lily’s death. He also killed Dumbledore on his request. Dumbledore had also revealed to Snape that Harry’s scar was a Horcrux, and that Harry is to die for Voldemort to be defeated.

Harry surrenders himself to Voldemort after using the Resurrection Stone to summon the spirits of his loved ones. Harry is hit with the killing curse, and he enters a limbo state. Harry, still clinging to life through his tie to Voldemort, is carried back to the castle by Hagrid as if he were dead.

Neville stands up to Voldemort as the battle begins anew, and chops the head off of the last Horcrux, Nagini. Harry finds Voldemort, and explains how everything went down. Voldemort decides to kill Harry anyway, and the Elder Wand backfires, killing Voldemort.

Harry has become the master of all three Deathly Hallows, but he decides to lose the Resurrection Stone and to break the Elder Wand.

Nineteen years later, Harry and Ginny, along with Ron and Hermione, are sending their children off to Hogwarts, and Harry reflects on the fact that his scar hasn’t hurt in nineteen years.

The End.

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