BLAARGH! Secret Identities
Jul 2nd, 2010 | By Robert Eddleman | Category: BLAARGH!, ColumnsWhy do bad things happen to good fans? Whether it’s atrocious art, ridiculous writing or something else entirely - some crimes against fandom cannot go unanswered. When that happens, it’s time to say “BLAARGH!”
I was glad this finally happened. Unfortunately for me it happened in Countdown.
I feel sorry of Jimmy Olsen. And not just because he’s occasionally a dink. No, it’s because two of the people he considers his best friends, Clark Kent and Superman, are hiding a huge secret from him. Namely, that they’re the same guy. There comes a point in the relationship between two characters that a secret identity seems like less of a secret and more like an outright lie.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that the use of secret identities should be completely done away with. While not having one works for some characters like Guy Gardner and Luke Cage, Superman would find his apartment firebombed by Intergang if his identity was revealed. But for someone like Jimmy, who Clark’s been friends with for years, it seems like a slap in the face to their so-called “friendship.” Just think how much Jimmy would be able to help Clark cover for his Super-absences if he was in on it. And don’t give me the “Clark keeps him in the dark for Jimmy’s protection” excuse. That kid gets in lots of trouble already as “Superman’s Pal.” Knowing the truth shouldn’t matter too much on that count.
But Jimmy’s situation isn’t the biggest secret identity wall banger. Back in the day, the Flash Barry Allen didn’t tell his secret to gal-pal Iris West until after she became Iris Allen. That’s right, he waited until after they were married to give up his biggest secret. Yes, it turned out she already knew (Barry apparently talks in his sleep), but that doesn’t make him look like any less of an ass-clown in my eyes. Even Clark told Lois while they were engaged, although arguably he should have before he popped the question. Contrast them with Jaime Reyes, the latest Blue Beetle. After being bonded with the Scarab that empowers him, one of his first acts was to tell his family and two best friends. Not only did they support him and offer advice, they’ve helped him out with the occasional heroics as well.
PSYCH!
The Superman/Jimmy situation isn’t the only instance where a secret identity annoys me. Peter Parker’s been real paranoid about his lately, but letting his Avengers teammates and old friends the Fantastic Four in on it makes a lot of sense, and increases the camaraderie between them. How much easier would Peter’s old gig at the Daily Bugle have been if stalwart Spider-supporter and trusted friend Robbie Robertson knew his secret? Aunt May became more of an actual character and less of a prop for Pete to worry about once she found out during J. Michael Straczynski’s run on Amazing Spider-Man. And even though he’s only been back for a short time, I’m already tired of Harry Osborn’s “love Peter/hate Spidey” routine. His discovery of Peter’s secret could lead to some great stories, whether he hates the notion or embraces it.
So what’s to be done? When does keeping something from your family and friends become less for their protection and more of a lie? Commissioner Gordan might not want to know who’s behind Batman’s cowl, and that’s fine. But please Supes, let Jimmy in on the secret. The poor guys needs the occasional morale boost.
I loved JMS’ story of Aunt May discovering Peter’s secret and the ramifications of the discovery. Their bond just stronger than ever. May was even the final voice of reason in Peter’s decision to go public a few years, but unfortunately all of this went to trash in OMD.
Jimmy not knowing Clark’s secret (whether by discovering it on his own or with help) is a big shame and so stupid. Even Lois not finding it out sooner is beyond dumb. She’s supposed to be the best investigating reporter around, for f@#%’s sake!
As for Batman, it is natural that only the Bat-Family members and his super-pals (which is still a lot) know his secret identity, but it’s still surprising that he never trusted Gordon with it. I won’t be surprised if he knew on his own and just played Bruce’s game, but he should still trust him about that.
I LOVE the scene in Justice League Starcrossed, where they’re hiding out in the department store, and Flash is apprehensive about revealing their identities to each other, then Bruce goes ahead & does it for him. SOOOOOOO funny!! LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsOp3akxj5w
Tomer - Gordon may not want to know from a legal aspect as well. As a faceless vigilante, Gordon can hold back on apprehending him because he doesn’t know who Batman is. It’s a thin veil of plausible deniability
Chris: Yep.
Derek: I get it, but just like in Lois’ case, are we to believe that such a good, veteran police officer never made 2+2 in Batman’s case in all the years they’ve known each other? I assume that it’s just a case of “I pretty much know what’s going on, but I’ll never let Bruce know.” It keeps him out of involvement anyway.
At this point I think we can all assume he knows, there’s been enough hints dropped. But by not actually asking or being told, he has that deniability
Towards the end of “No Man’s Land”, Batman took off his cowl for Gordon to help regain his old friend’s trust. Gordon turned around and refused to look, though it was hinted he already knew.
And Chris, I love that scene as well.