Retcon THIS! Holiday Edition Figures

In the ever-evolving landscape of comics, there are simply some things that should not have happened. In Retcon This!, we examine some of the more questionable aspects of our beloved characters’ sordid histories.

The holidays are supposed to be time of peace, love, and possibly soul but not for the merciless money-grubbing mercantile corporate fatcats who can’t wait for the empty-eyed hordes scrabble through the automatic sliding doors to not sell you one of 10 in-store advertised toasters for 3 dollars. So yeah as part of your holiday money woes disappointment you remember that the holidays are really for kids and therefore TOYS become your new grail to quest for and toys there shall be!

He's Some Goofy Robot Named 'Turtle Man'!

If you’ve  seen the Governator Opus “Jingle All The Way” then you know the Sisyphean task it is to find that “one perfect gift every kid wants”, so you inevitably buy “The Booster”.

NOBODY LIKES YOU, BOOSTER!

Thus the “Holiday Edition” Figure was birthed to not only mock the pegwarmming “Boosters” that grace the holiday pegs and shelves of big box and convenience stores alike, but to make sure parents buy some  ineffectual gift a child could not possibly want whilst simultaneously causing collectors to fight the throngs of the equally (albeit temporarily) unwashed shopping masses.

McFarlane Toys' Twisted Christmas Series

Although sometimes, and I do mean sometimes, things get a little… atypical such as the Mattel Holiday Internal Gift, HAL EFFIN’ JORDAN!

Mattel, never take sides against the Collector Community. Ever.

This little beaut was basically the christmas bonus that was meant for higher up employees and some non-employees as an exclusive figure that could later be sold on the eBay for like a bajillion pennies.

Thats right a highly popular, heavily requested figure of an easily and cheaply produced toyline is turned into basically a Holy Grail for the Justice League/Green Lantern toy collecting community.

So as you can plainly see, Holiday Edition figures are basically the bane of both children and collector alike. My suggestion as to fixing this dilemma: Just  don’t do it. Listen toy conglomerates of the world, it may seem funny or cute or whatever but its not cool dammit, especially when it doesn’t fit the theme of the property or the character. Also quit with the irony already…

Yeah I totally bought this... while shopping with my dad. Serious.

Filed Under: Columns • Retcon This!